http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-the-butterfly-effect.htm
A few years ago I became familiar with the Chaos Theory also known as the Butterfly Effect. It is simply defined something like - when a butterfly flaps her wings in Africa it rains in NYC.
More specifically defined on Wikipedia (Yes, I think Wikipedia can sometimes be a good resource):
In chaos theory, the butterfly effect is the sensitive dependence on initial conditions, where a small change at one place in a deterministic nonlinear system can result in large differences to a later state. The name of the effect, coined by Edward Lorenz, is derived from the theoretical example of a hurricane's formation being contingent on whether or not a distant butterfly had flapped its wings several weeks before (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly_effect).
The chaos theory sometimes is demonstrated through emergent behaviors that may appear as complex behaviors, unpredictability random and not necessarily connected to anything else. But in reality all behaviors that occur within chaos, although not always predictable, are connected.
In earlier posts on this blog you might read some adventures of my dogs, Lizzie and Schooner. They are two dogs with two very different personalities but they think they are one dog. If one gets a cookie the other gets a cookie. If Lizzie goes to the vet then Schooner lives in disorientation and chaos because he does not really understand that Lizzie is not part of him because they are so interconnected. Their behaviors are usually predictable, sometimes random, connected and somewhat organized and somewhat chaotic.
Every now and then when we watch a large flock of birds flying it appears that there is no formation or the formation becomes disorganized in some kind of radon motion. But in reality, during the flight the birds are changing their organizational flying pattern. When geese are flying in a V shape after a period of time the pattern changes for those of us watching them and change in the flying pattern looks like random motion. However, what is really happening is a change in the head goose – the leader goose is changing position with another goose that then becomes the leader of the V formation, like similar chaos that often occurs with a change in leadership. When a new principal comes to a school his/her leadership style and expectations may cause some chaos and confusion within the school community.
All kinds of things impact what chaos theory experiences in schools and classrooms. Sometimes emergent classroom behaviors appear as complex behaviors and not connected to anything else and unpredictability random and a teacher may wonder what happen. Where did that behavior come from? But in reality, all classroom behaviors occur within chaos although not always predictable yet they are connected and interconnected to other life experiences.
A direct connection of the chaos theory, the butterfly effect to our class last week was when I made cookies. Earlier in the day when making the cookies I used a different recipe than I usually use but I still added some of my favorite ingredients but not in the recipe I was using. The first batch turned out good but the 2nd batch of cookies, well, those cookies got a little burned. Even though I was in the kitchen while they were in the oven I was distracted. My son unexpectedly came home and I did not get the cookies out of the oven in time. Then I had to share some of the cookie with him, after all he is my son, but I limited how many cookies he could eat. Each cookie he ate limited the number of non-burned cookies for class. I did not need to bring cookies to class – but I wanted to. So the chaos theory – butterfly effect impacted our first night class cookies.
At home happily making cookies for class; changed the recipe; added additional ingredients; someone stops by and distracts me; cookies burn; need to share some of good cookies with unexpected guest; fewer good cookies for class; students eat the cookies; no one gets sick (that I know of); almost all the cookies gone at end of class. The butterfly flapped her wings and I burned cookies.
An another example about the butterfly effect and curriculum occurred one day while I was observing a class. I was the editor for the Aims Newsletter for several years and I created a column titled “Everything is one.” I got the idea one day when I was visiting a looped 6th - 8th grades classroom as the students were in a debriefing conversation about a just completed interdisciplinary curriculum. The students really enjoyed it and shared many positive aspects of it. One 6th grade young adolescent said, “What I liked about it was that everything was one. There was not science, then math, then social students, then language arts. Everything was connected. Everything was one.” I was so enchanted by his comment I created the “Everything is one” column so other MLEs could also share their interdisciplinary curricular stories.
For years, in the history of education, curriculum content was connected and everything was one but a time came when educators believed that it was important to teach each discipline as distinct and separate from other disciplines. However, the last several years more and more middle level educators are creating interdisciplinary curriculum and content is becoming interconnected like the butterfly effect.
Me visiting a school; students sharing their reflections; student saying something cool; I like his idea; I make it a title to a column in a professional publication where middle level educators could share their interdisciplinary curricular ideas with other MLEs. The butterfly flapped her wings and I created a column in a professional publication.
My two examples are fairly simple and to the point but share how small differences impact outcomes. As you know there are far more complicated classroom chaos theory - butterfly effects situations. Maybe a student has not eaten, or is ill, maybe the teacher has a family situation that is complicating his or her life and maybe…. maybe… maybe… therefore classroom teaching and learning is impacted. There are so many chaos theory variables to identify in teaching and learning.
I could share more examples but I am passing being in the front of the flying V shape to you. Now it is your turn to share a story, simple or complex, of how you see the interconnectedness – the butterfly effect, the chaos theory active in life and in school and in classrooms. Share how you think students, families, attitudes, schools, educators; politicians are butterflies flapping their wings and impacting classroom expectations and behaviors.
Please post your reflection back to this blog under comments section.
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-the-butterfly-effect.htm
To learn more about Chaos Theory read http://www.youtube. com/watch?v=JnlkKdDXk-I
17 comments:
It turns out that a great deal of my adult life has been governed by Chaos Theory (if Lorenz can be believed). In 1987 I fell in love. This seemingly meaningless act (in the grand scheme of things) precipitated a series of “chaotic” events. Being in love caused me to re-direct my focus from my senior year studies at Eureka College and to the well-being of my relationship back home in Chicago. With each flutter of the butterfly’s wings, event swirled into an uncontrollable vortex that led to my dropping of college, losing my new car to the finance company and joining the U.S. Navy. This all happened in the span of 14 months.
One afternoon, I came down with a bad case of some kind of stomach virus (flutter or gurgle LOL) and didn’t report to my Naval post for about 10 days. Discharged, I returned to Chicago and then moved to Indiana after another failed love affair. Chance meeting at a coffee shop (flutter) and I was registering for college at Indiana University. Marriage, childbirth, divorce, college graduation, book authorship, graduate school, Atlanta, New York, Seminary, Teach for America, and back to Chicago – Almost 20 years (to the date) after leaving Chicago in 1987. I’m dizzy.
In my case, the “chaos” was spiral—ending where it began but at a different level.
My butterfly affect or chaos theory in action came about as I was reflecting on the “My life in six songs” project. I pretty much had them picked and was happy with my selections, but recent challenges in my life changed the directions of my reflections which resulted in me changing my selections. My mom was rushed to the hospital 2 weeks ago. While in the hospital she had a stroke and we were advised that she flat lined. Her heart stopped beating for 4-5 seconds. They had to do CPR to get her heart beating again. This along with other challenges has resulted in me wanting to select songs that reflect my thoughts today of my faith and belief in God. Had I not been faced with these recent challenges, I would have still selected a song that conveyed my faith, but now I listen more intently to the meaning of songs and how they reflect my belief in God and what happens after death. I listen to songs for messages that offer encouragement and promises during difficult times. Today my mom is much better.
As a result of this exercise I ponder more on what butterfly moment could have changed the course of someone’s life. As I was walking home, I saw a girl I knew. When I knew her she was full of hope and had a bright future. I have seen her alot lately on the streets. She was in Wendy’s and was begging a man for money. She was on the train and looked like she was homeless with layers of clothes on in the summer. She looked like she had been on drugs and was homeless. I wondered what initial condition changed the course of her life from one of a bright future to the path of destruction and despair that she appears to be living in.
As an educator, the essence of the butterfly effect has reawakened me to consciousness of things in my life and that of my students that may have the potential to impact how I teach and how they learn. How seemingly small changes can have major impact on the outcome of me as a teacher and my students emotionally, socially, and academically.
After reading your post, the paragraph that stuck out the most to me was the one about the history of education because it reminded me of the work done by the Committee of Ten. Before the Progressive Era, several courses (such as history) weren’t separated, but incorporated into other classics courses, like Latin, Math, and Sciences. However, the Committee advocated for a more cohesive and uniform education in secondary schools. They hoped to accomplish this cohesion by having separate disciplines. Now, according to your post, middle level educators are returning to a curriculum much that before the Progressive area – a curriculum in which everything is interconnected like the Butterfly Effect.
I have also been thinking about the Butterfly Effect in my own life. I can’t help but wonder how this theory is impacting my own life, especially over the next few weeks. This week alone has revealed several chaotic events that I haven’t been able to see the complete interconnectedness of just yet. For example, I currently work at a popular chain restaurant. This week at the restaurant, a new manager started working at the store and new products started on the menu. But, I have been applying for teacher’s aide jobs and was recently offered a position at a nearby junior high school. So – Me applying for jobs; successfully interviewing for a position; receiving an offer for the position; giving my two-weeks notice at the restaurant; new changes at the restaurant… How will the Chaos Theory affect the restaurant when I leave? What changes will happen at the junior high as a result of me starting? I am excited and nervous to see what the flapping of the butterfly’s wings will bring for the next few weeks.
I think the theory of the butterfly effect is very important in the classroom setting, especially with young children. Children are very impressionable; every little thing that occurs can affect a child, whether it is for the better or worse. I think in the classroom setting there are so many different things that can be the potential butterfly. First, to begin in the classroom, a teacher can easily be a butterfly that affects a student and their learning in a positive or negative manner. For a teacher who shows integrity and takes their class seriously and stresses the importance of the class, this is something that extends past just the classroom. These feelings and attitude of the teacher in the classroom extend to the children as they become aware that they will be held to a certain standard and in this case a very high standard. A teacher who takes this much pride in their classroom is one that will often extend these feelings and attitudes to the families of students and make sure that they are aware of the expectations that will be set for their children. These parents in turn know what is expected of their child and turn to that child and extend those same expectations of the teacher. The students are now aware that the expectations of their teacher is not only placed upon them in the classroom setting, but that it affects them when they are at home and with their family. This choice in attitude by the teacher is what will ultimately lead to students who are successful because they become aware of the high standards expected of them by the many different people in their lives.
On the other hand, a teacher who shows a lack of enthusiasm or does not set high expectations is ultimately setting her students up for failure. Students can sense this attitude of their teacher and in turn become unlikely to put in a great deal of effort in their school work as they feel that they aren’t appreciated and the teacher does not care. When a teacher doesn’t case, a student in turn will have difficulty in getting themselves to care about their class work. This attitude can stem from not only the teacher, but also the school and administration at a school. If a school is in a low-income area with limited resources and holds an assumption that their students will not amount to anything and will not succeed no matter how hard they try, students eventually feel this and it’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ultimately, what is very important is for educators to hold high standards and have a positive attitude in the classroom. Every little thing can affect a child and even the smallest things can create a path towards failure.
I think the butterfly effect can best be seen in children. Sometimes we do not realize how much what we do, what we say, how we act, how we talk and act toward them, and what we say in front of them impacts their lives and their actions. This is not based on any research or anything I have read just on simple observation of my life and the lives of my friends. I grew up in a warm home with both parents and a sister. My family always attended family events and hosted some so my childhood was filled with love, good food, many presents, and the presence of those most important to me. My parents have respect for each other, my sister and myself and I grew to respect them as well. This, I feel, helped to shape me into the person I am today and will defiantly be reflected in the type of parent I become. There is not one parental “strategy” my parents had used that I would disagree with or had done differently. On the other hand I have friends who grew up in homes that had little love and family involvement. Holidays were spent listening to parents fighting, there was substance and physical abuse and siblings did not get along or even try to get along. Parents had no respect for each other and treated their children badly sometimes calling them names or threatening to disown them. These individuals grew up to be cold, disrespectful, and sometimes self-destructive. They do not trust others and do not communicate with their families. If they ever begin a family those characteristics will be mirrored in that family and they cycle will continue unless someone opens their eyes to their destructive ways and they decide to change.
This shows the butterfly effect, how little things such as family dinners or holidays, love for your brother or sister, respect-something common in all cultures, has tremendous effect of the rest of our lives.
Reading your example about your dogs made me think of my little brothers. Jonathan and Christian are thirteen year old twins and seem to share their own chaos. When they were little, if one began to cry for whatever reason so did the other. If one became upset so did his brother. When my mom bought a toy for one son she had to buy one for the other as well to prevent chaos. Sometimes one of them got sick and was excused from school, almost instantly the other twin "wasn't feeling well" and insured that he should stay home too. At times it's like they are one person. On the other hand, sometimes I think they test other people to see how much they can get away with. At the end, all it takes is for one of them to develop a "condition" by which the other twin is affected and chaos begins.
Chaos Theory makes me think of my 21 month old nephew. To me, he is the most adorable and precious being. He is flapping his wings everywhere-growing in his kinesthetic awareness, forming his neuromuscular memories, testing the waters for whether he can do as he pleases or has to please his parents, and even venturing out with conversation. As my nephew flaps his wings, chaos occurs, unannounced to him. As he went with his mom, my awesome sister in law, to their friends house to bring freshly made food for a new birth in the family, he decided to walk over to his mom to ask a question after helping put the items on the table. While walking and experiencing different footing on the carpet, he unfortunately tripped and fell into their friend's corner table-resulting in a huge gouge in his forehead that required his my sister in law to head to the treatment center for stitches. The chaos that presented itself was my brother having to leave his job early to go home and support his family, 8 month pregnant wife and 21 month old son, at the hospital. All my nephew knew was that his forehead hurt and that the dripping blood did not look cool. Though his wings flapped as he began to experience new territory, chaos ensued after tripping and falling. Thankfully, his wing flapping has resulted in a learned lesson-to be careful around tables that are as tall as he.
Another item that comes to mind when I think of chaos theory is my current job. We recently received all new administration and though it has been positive in the transition to where almost all of the staff is on board with flapping wings, it turns out that our wings are becoming slightly tired as we transition into our new V-formation. This transition into our new V-formation has required much change within our previous requirements from administration. Many educators stay at work until 7pm to stay afloat. With this change in time, many educators return home later, causing them to not keep their work-life balance by giving themselves ‘me’ time for working out, causes cooking dinner to be later which has put many families on a later time schedule, and causes many educators to arrive tucked in their beds at a later than normal time. Much chaos is in the mix, but the chaos as we butterflies travel from one formation to the next is with great excitement and much anticipation. I trust that our new admin is leading us into a positive direction for both our students and educators alike. If it were not for the chaos, I do not believe that the achieved new V-formation, or butterfly wings flapping would be quite as exciting and as anticipated as what is currently at hand.
With great hopes, my current chaos will result in the elegant flapping of brilliantly colored and defined wings!
I was in all day training for a job in a room with zero phone reception. The training was mundane, moving at the pace of a snail. All of a sudden someone entered the room to talk to the training manager about something or other. On his way out of the room, he tripped on a computer cord, which oddly was synched to our computers and froze the entire rooms programs. We were dismissed on a break while our instructor rebooted the programs, and I headed outside to escape the stale air. Just as I walked out and regained reception I received a phone call from my friend Eric. His band needed support on guitar and keys for an upcoming gig at the Metro. He was rather frantic trying to fill the void, and explained that he was going to go down a list of musicians until he got a confirmation. Of course, I signed on to help out – and that was the first time I got to play the Metro (a sought after venue for local musicians). However, if that chain of incidents had not happened precisely at that time, I would now be telling the story of how I missed an opportunity to fulfill my teenage dream of playing the Metro. That is a personal experience with the butterfly effect.
In regards to this theory’s effect on teaching, I think Joanna brings up a valid point that it is easy to take for granted how much our actions (large and small) directly and indirectly affect our students. Adolescents are especially impressionable given the tumultuous changes their cognitive and physical development. Consequently, although preventing chaos theory is implausible, I think the apt route to strive for is to be conscious of our impact. Moreover, always mindful of the learning environment we are creating and are responsible for managing. Hopefully we can then help minimize the negativity and become successful learners with our students.
“Everything happens because of a flutter.”
Being the first generation to attend school in my family was always such a big deal and an even heavier load for me. My parents always told me they wanted me to study whatever I wanted, and yet they constantly expressed their desire for me to become a nurse or a doctor. At some point, while in high school, I too wanted to become a nurse. I wanted to make my parents proud. Soon all the stress and pressure at home about school caught up to me. My parents did not understand. I became less and less interested about nursing and school for that matter. So, I began taking general education courses at a community college until I figured something out. Randomly, one day, I decided to pick up my little sister from school. My eighth grade teacher, now the assistant principal of the school, saw me and so I went to say hello. We spoke for a few minutes and then he informed me of an open position at the school; he thought I should apply. The principal was looking to hire an aid to work with two fifth graders that had cerebral palsy. Two weeks later, I had a new job. At first I had no idea what I was doing, but eventually it became second nature. I loved going to work! (I still do.) Not only did I like having a positive impact on these children’s lives, but they were teaching me too. They helped me find the courage to speak up for what I truly love doing: teaching. The butterfly flapped her wings and now I am studying to become a special education teacher.
Sometimes we don’t realize just how great one little thing can have such a huge effect on a child’s behavior. We need to be careful as educators and parents and role models on how we speak or behave around students. Students need to be motivated but sometimes motivation equals stress and pressure. In my case, my parents were only trying to motivate me; but because their desires for my career did not match mine, I felt like becoming a teacher would not be good enough for them. So, I put great amounts of pressure on myself and I tried to please them. When my parents asked about school, all I felt was added pressure and like I was letting them down. As educators I believe that it is very important to be conscience of our comments to students, be aware of their wants, and not let our expectations become their stress.
I can't help but to think about the many assignments and lessons in school that I found to be absolutely pointless at the time. As I matured, I came to realize that knowledge isn't stamped saying "best if used by'." I would have numerous "a ha" moments because of prior experiences. The one teacher who took the time to listen to a student in need has made a small change that will have positive lasting effects on the student!
I'll never forget the moment I boarded the plane headed to Africa for 2 months. The whole trip was planned less than 2 months prior. It was truly a random adventure that changed my views of the education system and it is what brought about my career change. While there, it only took one conversation within one home to change how the village understood HIV.
Going inside the classroom I know that unpredictability is not always a negative thing. As we focus in on presidential debates we come to realize how much weight a thought, opinion, or voice can carry. Our country has advanced due to the efforts on the other side of the world decades ago.
It is my duty to teach wholeheartedly whether or not I believe I am being listened to. Oftentimes a student shows little to no progress while in your classroom but once the student advances to higher grades the wings begin to flap. Chaos theory helps us to take the focus off of "what is" and opens our eyes to "what is to be."
I currently work in the early childhood field with 2 year olds. I see the butterfly effect every day from the children and my co-workers. When I first read this post the first thing I thought about was how people feed off others. This occurs every day among children inside the classroom. One morning while sitting on the carpet during circle time a child walked in the class late. The mother was pushing, pulling and yelling at the child inside the class. This interrupted the class and I had to cut circle time and tend to the situation at hand. Minutes later, I got the child calmed and we both joined the group to continue circle time. Throughout the day the child was hitting, yelling, and not following directions. The child took out his frustration on the other children as well as me. In connection to the butterfly effect the mother affected the child’s day and in caused may have ruined others day.
Students, families, attitudes, schools, educators, and politicians are butterflies paving the way for the next person. For example, my mother raised me to value certain things and set examples for me to follow to have a productive life from her point of view. If my mother or any adult in my life would have did something negative in my life I would have remembered. This may have affected me negatively or positively. Students, families, attitudes, schools, educators, and politicians set examples for the future. The things they say, do, and create affect the way the younger generation makes decisions. One butterfly wing affects the other depending on the speed.
The butterfly affect is something I can relate to as I was in the search of laying a ground foundation to my future as an adult. I was happy, in love, and healthy. I felt like I needed to settle in a home, so I was in the market to buy one. With prices incredibly low, I was determined to find something. The home would be purchased by my BF and I. The problem was he was only doing it for me. He had no interest in being a homeowner. Which made feel uneasy about going thru a huge financial decision with him. We found a home in a nice neighborhood and with a pool. With new purchasing rules subsiding the sale didn't go thru. I was crushed but a bit more crushed due to the expression of relief my boyfriend had. As time went by me and my BF broke up. At this time i too was relieved that we didn't make the purchase.
I was still determined to buy a home. But this time on my own. I didn't want to overwhelm any one with a financial burden that I was only interested in. THis was a time in my life that I felt I was getting older and had to make moves financially and educationally. I had my list of goals which the first two was to buy a home with rental income so that I can go to school full time and work part time. With patience and faith I found a building that was habitable. I went to closing with a 10k down payment. After all the calculations and credits, downpayment required was a little under 2k. Which really worked out since I needed to rebuild my masonry chimney. My next goal was to go part time at work and full time in school. I was dreading to go to my boss only offering part time. Especially since I just got back from a 10 day vacation. When I explained to him I needed to attend school full time, he was against my time off. So I took a deep breath and gave him my 2week notice. I was determined. He then asked me to relax and he would give me part time. WOW that worked out. Now I have met my first 2 goals and I am currently on my mission to become an educator.
The chaos theory of interconnectedness is very intriguing to me because I student taught at a school that was very different than the school where I observed at and taught some lessons. I observed at Rickover Naval Academy, which you would think would have a strong top to bottom hierarchy, but the school was very weak at the top and the teachers had to do an extraordinary job of management. This forced the Naval employees to have an even greater task of enforcing discipline. The increased need for discipline inside the classroom soured the relationship between the students and the teachers. This lack of top-down management made the jobs of everyone at the school a little bit more difficult. The school at which I student taught had a completely different approach. The school had strong deans and an even stronger principal. The teachers were stronger with their discipline because they knew the management would support them. With this system in place, the teachers and deans were able to have better relationships. This created more time for instruction and created more enjoyable moments.
Butterfly Effect....Part 1 of 2 (Hope this works this time)......
I think the butterfly affect happens all the time around each of us. Maybe sometimes we realize it and other times we may not. Maybe sometimes it's obvious (like burning the cookies when your son came to visit) and sometimes it's not.
There is a movie that I really like called Sliding Doors which stars Gwyneth Paltrow. Probably made in late 90's or 2000 and the movie shows her barely making her train on the way home from work. They show her stepping on the commuter train and the doors closing right behind her. She just made it! The movie goes on to tell a story about her life. There is another part of the movie and this time they show her NOT making the train. The doors close just as she was about to step foot on the stairs and because of that, because of her missing that train, it goes on to show how her life had such a different outcome from that one simple act. Catching the train, her life was one way. Missing the train, sent a chain reaction or butterfly affect, and totally changed her life. Now I know this is Hollywood, but you get the idea of how one difference in a decision or one unexpected encounter or a million other things that might happen could lead to different outcomes.
For me it was Christina Applegate. Crazy, I know. I remember her from Married With Children and that was pretty much it. She had a show out at the time (maybe still does) that I never watched. A year prior to my butterfly affect, she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. Sad story with happy ending and honestly, my thoughts didn't go any further than that. About a year later, I started "seeing" her everywhere. In every magazine I opened (I get many People, Vanity Fair, Living Simple, Living....and yes, a few more) I would see her for random things. Some times it was for an advertisement, once was a picture of her and her dogs (huh?), another time it was a quote (that had nothing to do with breast cancer) but never was there an article about her. I don't think at that time I thought much of it until I was driving into the city for a visit with my gynecologist (too much information?) and on the way there, I saw a billboard with her on it. I cannot remember what it was for, again NOT for breast cancer, I know. I see my doctor and I was getting my script to get my mammogram I was due for. It was like a really quick movie reel that passed through my head of all the times I have seen her over the last month or so and before I even knew what I was saying, I asked if I could have a script for a diagnostic mammogram instead of just the regular screening kind. (For all you boys out there, a diagnostic mammogram is a regular mammogram in addition to quite a few more images and an ultrasound). I had breast cancer in my family and told her I know how crazy I sound but then continued to tell her about Christina Applegate showing up all over the darn place. I said I think she's stalking me and I don't know why (my attempt at humor)!
Butterfly Effect Part 2 of 2
Two weeks later, I have my appointment for my mammogram and the tech did what they do so well....yes it hurts!!!! After that part, they had me wait in the waiting room to make sure all images were legible for the radiologist to read them later. They called me back to say a few were blurry and needed to take more. Not a problem! I can handle this! More images taken, more waiting, getting antsy to get home before traffic started and then I heard, Mrs. Gray, can you please come with me.
I could keep going with all the specifics but no need. I think you can see where I'm going with this. Something didn't look right in my left breast. The ultrasound (thank you diagnostic test) proved it to be cancer. They knew right away. This sounds crazy, believe me, I know it does. I didn't cry. I didn't freak out. I didn't do anything accept, in my head, thank the shit our of Christina Applegate. She "stalked" me enough to make me do something I wouldn't have done otherwise.
I had to get a mastectomy on my left side. I chose to do both sides without a blink of the eye. Surgery scheduled, surgery complete and everything sent to pathology for reports to see the next plan of attack. Now here's the kicker....pathology came back that I also had it in my right breast but was still to small for any testing device to detect. My surgeon said that would have showed up in about another 2-3 years. I saved myself from having to go through that again.
I am a "life hands you lemons, make lemonade (with lots of sugar)" type of person. I think part of my attitude is what helped me get through and realized this all happened how it was supposed to. I promise you that I never saw Christina Applegate anymore after all this and NOW I was starting to STALK her....with no luck.
My husband had gone through a brutal cancer one year prior and as horrible as this sounds, it prepared me. It was and still is a point in my life where I'm so grateful that for whatever reason I was noticing this celebrity that I didn't know the first thing about, really helped save my life. It was because of those extra images I was able to get from the diagnostic order that the cancer was detected. AND because it was diagnosed early AND because I chose a double mastectomy, I didn't need chemo, radiation or tamoxofin (a common drug given to women after going through treatment). I was truly blessed and if I ever run into "my new best friend, Christina," I will tell her the whole story which I'm sure she'll either hug me or call security to get this "crazy lady" away from her.
My new outlook on life is that Life is a beautiful mess. Each and everyday we experience something as simple as noticing the beautiful color of a particular fallen leaf or finding out we lost a loved one or experiencing the joy through your child when they made the game winning shot and everything in between. I learned from my experience and I notice things and yes, maybe read into things a little too much sometimes, but also feel there are signs all around me and are obvious when I'm willing to see them.
Wow! Did I just talk your ear off?!?! Sorry about that....I have a tendency of doing so!
I often wonder how the butterfly affect governs my life. Would my current education, career, or relationships be the same had I made the slightest of changes? I see these things almost daily while working in the learning support center. People who graduate high school and decide to go right to work instead of going off to college. They assume they can easily return to the world of academics, but now they spend years of their lives trying to regain the knowledge they used to have. Would their lives be different or improved had they taken the steps to a degree 20 years earlier? I understand there are a lot of reasons not to go off to college, not all good, but I also know it never gets any easier to go to school. Would my life be different had I not learned this difficult lesson from them?
In essence, the entire process of learning this life lesson could be viewed as a butterfly affect. Like all NLU students, I had to take a placement test in order to register for certain classes. I was not even a little nervous when I came to taking this test, and I left feeling more than confident of my placement. A few weeks later, I received a call saying that they were in search of a new math tutor, thought I had a strong knowledge base, and asked if I would be interested in a position. All I wanted was to take a math class and I ended up with a job I love. On the day I took that test, a butterfly flapped its wings, and because of it, I’ve been employed for the past 4 years at an amazing job that gives me experience, knowledge, and joy.
The Butterfly Effect, is a quite interesting theory. It makes you stop and ponder on situations and people. Since reading your blog, I have been analyzing so many different circumstances that I know people are going through and the ending result of those battles. I think the Chaos theory is best played out in my own life. I have seen so many “friends” fall by the waist side and become over powered by the negative forces that surround us. I thank God that I had a loving support system to help me through my trials and tribulations. Whenever I wanted to give up I had people there to push me and show me the better side of the situation. I was one of many young ladies who fell in love in high school, thought I had met the man (boy) of my dreams. We will graduate, get married and raise a family. Things did not happen that way, instead I got pregnant and had a baby at 16, he moved onto something new. I was left taking care of my baby, going to school, and working. I refused to let my son be a barrier stopping me from succeeding. I looked at him for motivation, inspiration, love; he gave me all that plus so much more. I want to let these young ladies know, the only person that can stop them from achieving whatever it is that they want, is themselves. Here I am 8 years later with 2 beautiful kids, still striving for excellence. It may have taken longer than I assumed, but at the end of the day I am getting it done!! Moral of the story: The butterfly flapped her wings, and I succeeded.
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